me around women: my left titty is a little bigger than my right titty here do you want to see? also i haven’t shaved my legs in a month and my thighs feel very soft
me around men: if you so much as insinuate that i have a physical form and that you have glanced at it i will come after you with a rusty meat cleaver and a fit of unbridled rage
(via prewars)
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